Signs Of Unhealed Trauma According To A Therapist

Experiencing trauma is different from everybody else. Sometimes it can be due to physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, or mental reasons. But in general, it is the result of overwhelming stress from an uncontrollable situation that goes beyond our ability to cope. The factors that can affect it include a death of a loved one, rejection from other people, an end to a meaningful relationship, disappointing words of promises, different kinds of maltreatments, and so on.

Sometimes, due to our eagerness to make things better, we pretend that everything is okay. Unfortunately, that is not the healthy way to deal with it. But we can’t be blamed for that since most of the time; we don’t realize that we are still holding on to those negative emotions that once haunted us. Thus, here are some signs that could determine if we are still suffering from an unhealed trauma.


Planning Everything Accordingly

There’s no harm in planning everything. In fact, it is a great attitude towards reaching something. However, when planning gets associated with too much stress and anxiety, it could relate to an unresolved trauma that we entirely avoid happening again. It could represent an urge to be completely in control because we don’t want to feel helpless and vulnerable. As a result, we micromanage and worry too much. This particular habit of planning everything for the sake of control might come from the deep-seated distrust we have in ourselves and the things around us in general.

Resisting Positive Change 

Sometimes, due to the negative experience we once endured, we become suspicious of things around us. We tend to become more confused rather than aware. That explains when something good came into our lives, the first thing we do is play safe and detached ourselves from the struggles associated with emotional stress. If that is the case, then we might be dealing with unresolved trauma. The resistance to positive change makes us believe that we are unworthy of happiness. Thus we hold onto the situation, thinking that it was a punishment we deserve.


Having A Strong Fear Over Failure

Fear is normal. But having an extreme amount of it, especially when it gets associated with failure, is different. The fear of failure grows unhealthy as it will eventually outweigh us out of motivation. It can make us miss out on certain opportunities, can stifle our creativity, and break our ambitions in life. In some instances, the strong fear of failure can lead to perfectionism and insecurities. These things are often associated with unresolved trauma that makes us instill a negative belief over ourselves. It leads to an unnecessary internalization of our shortcomings and inabilities.

Having A Strong Fear Over Success

Unresolved trauma is not only limited to making us fear failure. In some unfortunate situations, it can also lead to a strong terror over success. That emotional and mental struggle can make us hold ourselves back from reaching our goals. It creates a barrier that can make us feel terrified over the responsibilities associated with our success. There are this too many expectations of possibly losing everything even before we achieve it. It makes us sabotage our own chances of obtaining something we dearly want in life. This particular response often originates from the neglect and abandonment we experienced in the past.


Experiencing Emotional Difficulty 

Unhealed trauma can cause a lot of psychological and emotional damage, and most likely, it can make us lose track of our life’s purpose. It makes us unable to find the right mindset and positive train of thoughts and feelings because of our confusion over crying for help and being okay. Sometimes, despite trying our best to be better, we end up dealing with the issues alone. Unresolved trauma makes it even harder for us to seek help from the people around us because of the fear of denied assistance, judgment, criticisms, and emotional rejection.

Hurting Ourselves And Others Often

It is a sign of unhealed trauma when we constantly lashed out at other people with intense emotion. In some unfortunate cases, we isolate ourselves because we want to endure the pain. We want to take it out on ourselves or on those people we care about. It is not that we intend to hurt others, for that matter. But because we couldn’t say it out loud, we prefer to create a distraction by validating our wrongful behaviors. That explains why we often become emotionally volatile, overly sensitive to things, getting short-tempered, and out of control. These things are damaging as they may lead to self-harm and suicidal thoughts.


When we don’t have a healthy and positive way of dealing with trauma, we could end up repressing our negative emotions. Thus, it would be hard to recognize the unresolved issues we might be dealing with in our life.


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